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NEWSFLASH: The D Word [long]
Wednesday, 2 September 2009 23:27I haven't written about this in a while, but it's time I faced facts. Will posting this where the world can see it make me accountable or give me more fuel to procrastinate with? Who knows. You're reading this, so it's open for discussion. Standard rules apply: Speak your mind, and anonymous commenters are fair game.
I am not divorced.
My husband has been gone for nearly two years and gainfully employed for all that time, probably at the same salary he was hired, while I have struggled to stay employed at a level of pay that will keep a roof over my head and bills paid.
The original agreement in mediation was to separate assets as equally as possible, forfeit claim to each other's real estate, and then he would be the Petitioner on the divorce papers. We filed in King County where the Petitioner's presence in court is required. He wanted the divorce, he lives in downtown Seattle closer to the courthouse, he can afford to take a personal day, he can show up in court and get the divorce he put a knife in my back to get. I said as much in front of Garret and the mediator, and she corrected the paperwork to reflect this.
Garret did not file the divorce paperwork with the county until months later -- March, if I remember correctly -- and then I got a stack of papers in the mail. On one page there was a list of about twenty dates, and none of them were anything we needed to deal with: Disputes over property, custody arrangements, arguments for, arguments against, and requests for extensions were included. In summary, the only solid date given was for February 2009 -- almost a year later.
I asked several people what to make of this list of dates. I only knew two divorced people, but they had filed in a county that didn't require a court date and had no answers. My dad said "call the courthouse." At the time I was so overwhelmed with grief and frustration I didn't do anything. I stupidly assumed that Garret was eager enough to break ties with me that he'd figure it out. After all, he's the Petitioner, his presence is required, right? I counted the days from the date on the stack of papers sent to me. 90 days came and went, but the King County website never posted our divorce hearing. Maybe I got the date wrong? I checked for several weeks, still grieving too much to do anything about it.
( DISMISSED WITHOUT PREJUDICE )
This is a public post. There isn't anything in this entry people don't already know, and if I'm wrong about that it's not going to embarrass me anymore. Life happens, and this is mine.
I am not divorced.
My husband has been gone for nearly two years and gainfully employed for all that time, probably at the same salary he was hired, while I have struggled to stay employed at a level of pay that will keep a roof over my head and bills paid.
The original agreement in mediation was to separate assets as equally as possible, forfeit claim to each other's real estate, and then he would be the Petitioner on the divorce papers. We filed in King County where the Petitioner's presence in court is required. He wanted the divorce, he lives in downtown Seattle closer to the courthouse, he can afford to take a personal day, he can show up in court and get the divorce he put a knife in my back to get. I said as much in front of Garret and the mediator, and she corrected the paperwork to reflect this.
Garret did not file the divorce paperwork with the county until months later -- March, if I remember correctly -- and then I got a stack of papers in the mail. On one page there was a list of about twenty dates, and none of them were anything we needed to deal with: Disputes over property, custody arrangements, arguments for, arguments against, and requests for extensions were included. In summary, the only solid date given was for February 2009 -- almost a year later.
I asked several people what to make of this list of dates. I only knew two divorced people, but they had filed in a county that didn't require a court date and had no answers. My dad said "call the courthouse." At the time I was so overwhelmed with grief and frustration I didn't do anything. I stupidly assumed that Garret was eager enough to break ties with me that he'd figure it out. After all, he's the Petitioner, his presence is required, right? I counted the days from the date on the stack of papers sent to me. 90 days came and went, but the King County website never posted our divorce hearing. Maybe I got the date wrong? I checked for several weeks, still grieving too much to do anything about it.
( DISMISSED WITHOUT PREJUDICE )
This is a public post. There isn't anything in this entry people don't already know, and if I'm wrong about that it's not going to embarrass me anymore. Life happens, and this is mine.
