fatrockstar

I have determined that whatever is causing my sore throat is INSIDE this house. I don't know what it is or how I can pinpoint it, I just know that my throat is sore to the point where singing is difficult and I often have a dry cough. In addition to that I am also suffering from super-dry sinuses and my eyes are intermittently on fire. This overall pain and discomfort is very frustrating because I know my dad would like to hear from me and I also have a gig on Sunday afternoon to sing for. I can't have long conversations with a glass throat.

All this started to escalate after PAX, which is also when temperatures broke 80 here. Now that it's rainy and in the 60s I thought for sure it would calm down. Noop.

It's not Martha, either. I was having this problem before she came to live with us and it hasn't become worse by being near her. Is it a moisture thing? I'm worried that if I turn on my humidifier and I'm wrong it could make everything worse. I have a huge fear that my crawlspace, which I have not ventured into for a Very Long Time, is a biosphere all its own and has finally outgrown the space beneath my house to infect me with its alien micro-organisms.

Speaking of Martha, she is painfully adorable. She is also painfully codependent and follows me everywhere, chirping at me in her squeaky little meao. I am concerned I will end up with two cats anyway, which will upset me, but I don't want to traumatize an animal with endless hours of loneliness she doesn't want.

So far we haven't really established a Grady-esque rapport. The only things that really come through are LOVE ME and WATCH ME EAT. We'll get there, I'm sure.



I pulled a white corset out of the dark corners of my closet and decided I was going to fuck with it. Why not, right? I spent $40 on it for my wedding back in '02 and have worn it maybe once since. At first I considered spray painting it red and doing the WW motif, but that's way too predictable. Instead I ripped off the tacky lacy trim and am painting it a lovely royal blue. Maybe I'll add some new trim if I have something worthwhile here in the house, but for now it's drying in the garage.



My new washing machine arrived this week and will take some getting used to. Instead of standard washing machine noises this one sounds like it's heaving during the wash cycle. I honestly thought for a moment that it was going to vomit my clothes all over the interior of my laundry room. That would have been terrifying.



I've been thinking about my former in-laws a lot lately. I put away Nate & Karen's wedding party photo a long time ago, but the last family picture they sent me is still up on my wall along with photos of other family members I don't get to see very often or at all. I'm pretty sure a lot has changed since the last time we heard from each other. The more time that passes the more awkward it seems to reach out and say hello, but life goes on. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for the Blues. Despite my ex's past behavior, I still love them and want them to be peaceful and happy.



Has anyone using Netflix seen The Hard Times of RJ Berger? I finished season 1 and loved it. Season 2 isn't available for streaming, which sucks, but I'm digging it. Word to the wise: I like strange television. My recommendations are not solid.

My dad lost 40+ pounds on this diet. His diabetes is practically in remission, and his doctor has taken him off of a couple of the meds he was on to regulate it. When I was there for my reunion I would open the cupboards and instead of boxes of granola bars from Costco I was greeted by a wall of prepackaged, brightly-labeled Nutrisystem meals. It was disappointing. 20 years ago as a hungry teenager I would not have let their presence keep me from eating. Now... I know how much that shit costs, and my dad is on a budget these days.

I take an interest in what my dad does. I worry about his health and overall well-being. He's the closest family I have right now until my sister pulls her head out of her arse and visits me (which will most likely be never). 20 years ago the Nutrisystem program left my dad many, many pounds lighter, but deficient in several nutrients. He said it wasn't like that anymore and said I should try it. "It's less than $300 a month for food," he tells me, as if I have the budget for it. I nod and the day continues.

He and I don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of diet and fitness things. I hesitate to blame his age, because I know a lot of people his age that aren't cantankerous and stubborn.

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He's still my dad. He's still kind of strange. I got to meet the dog (he piddled on me. yay).

I met with an old boyfriend and his current s.o. tonight. I think I may have been nervous -- I talked a lot. I hope I was at least entertaining. When she went off to the bathroom, I mentioned to the ex that things weren't all fabulous at home. I wasn't quick to take blame or elaborate, but I did mention that Garret accused me of having a "mean streak," which caused a visible, subtle reaction I probably shouldn't have noticed.

I guess I've always been a jerk. I have no idea where I get it from.




Other than that, it was a good night out with friendly people. I have a lot to think about.