fatrockstar

I ordered my eyeglasses on Saturday. My current benefits end at the end of this month, so I am taking full advantage of them. It's about time -- I've been with this agency through three contracts and paid for benefits without using them until now, so I don't feel the least bit guilty about the optical and dental appointments I've made now that I have the time for them.

The glasses themselves, well, I was told to go to Costco ("they have the best prices!") but they don't accept insurance. I was given a few places, really, but settled on LensCrafters. They take insurance and have a slightly larger selection of frames. I picked the most flattering nerd-glasses I could find and called it good. All in all, I paid about $150. I hear that's decent.

The only sucky thing is that I have to wait ten days for them to be finished. At this point in time my eyes are so beaten up from the poor hardware at my last job that I can barely look at a screen for more than an hour at a time. This includes television screens, computer screens, DS screens, movie screens... they all create problems, and the $20 readers you get at the drugstore aren't weak enough for the adjustment I need. I will do what I can online in one-hour increments and keep my fingers crossed that the glasses get finished early.

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In other news, my car is almost inoperable. The brakes chirp because I need new ones, and recently my engine has begun threatening to overheat unless I turn the heater on full blast. The brakes issue is the easy part. The engine temp is a tougher one to figure out -- the radiator is full and there are no leaks to be found. All the automobile knowledge in my head is no help, and until my next job I am unable to take it to a shop.

Not being able to drive is not new. A couple of summers ago I rode my bike almost everywhere and saved a fortune in gas (it was about $4/gallon then). The new challenge is figuring out how to pay for the bus to get me to the major areas where biking the entire way isn't practical. ORCA cards aren't nearly as much of a money saver as good old bus passes were.

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I was denied mortgage assistance because I could not "provide enough evidence of financial hardship." In other words, because I had $200 left over after my monthly expenses and had not missed a mortgage payment even when un- and under-employed, I'm ineligible. This sucks. I pretty much destroyed my credit for no reason by applying for assistance at all, and now I have nothing to show for it. I feel I'm justified in being angry about this. I worked very hard and made a lot of sacrifices to stay current in my payments -- this is my reward for being an honest citizen and trying to do the right thing. I shouldn't have to commit fraud to get the help I need.

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Those glasses can't get here soon enough. Seriously, they can't. I'm dividing my time between catching up on housework, taking care of band business, and job-hunting, and two of those things will require use of my eyes at 100% capacity.

The good news is that I know I will find something a lot sooner than I did the last time I was job hunting, and it will pay enough for me to catch up with everything I fell behind in during my last job.

If any of you local job-hunters find something that looks like a good fit and ISN'T at Microsoft (I'm not eligible to work there again until late August at the earliest), please feel free to send it my way.

I am not traveling in Europe and have not found myself with only 30 minutes of time at a library computer. Just want to put that out there.

With very little to spare, I managed to have a Christmas that was pretty nice. I tried to send my sister a piece of nostalgia as a gift, but I think it didn't get there in one piece. I can't tell - she didn't pick up her phone on Friday OR Saturday, and all I have to go on is a cryptic text message. If she hates it, fine. Something is better than nothing, which is what I get from her every year. I'd rather not worry, though. She'd better call soon.

Lots of video games came my way. I only wish I had the strength to play them. One was a fitness game for my Wii that I'd been mooning over for a while (yay!) but I won't be able to play it until I get over this cold.

I hate being sick.

Lots of chicken soup and vitamin C. I'm hoping this time around won't require any Afrin. Cold medicine is expensive.

I went home Monday feeling so queasy I could hardly function. It didn't help that my officemate was wearing a fragrance that made my nausea worse. He must wear it every day -- he was genuinely surprised I asked him what that smell was.

I originally thought "food poisoning," but that usually clears up after a purge. After the third trip to the bathroom I ruled that out. I must have a stomach bug. Today I worked from home.

I haven't eaten much over the last 48 hours. Saltines, some Sprite, maybe some Gatorade. Tonight I felt well enough to eat half of a turkey sandwich, and now it's sitting like a rock in my gut. Ugh. At least I'm not vomiting (knock on wood).

Grady has been by my side constantly during all this. He's such a good boy.

There's more stress-inducing crap that has made my recovery slow, but I won't go into it here. It's hard enough to focus on getting things uploaded to my Etsy store: wynnec.etsy.com

I should be back at the office on Wednesday. Should.

I knew I would be stressed out by the rummage sale, and was not wrong. I barely made $100 -- the big ticket items sold, as did a lot of the old wedding stuff -- and ended cherry-picking from what was left to send to St. Vincent de Paul. I wasn't going to let go of it all, like some people did. One family had a LOT of really cool stuff, but when the sale was over just had the St. Vinnie's truck pull up to their spot and load everything up.

Now I'm at home, trying to chill out after a ridiculously long day. Friday was "Legs Day" at the gym, and the workout was brutal. I thought I was sore after the workout. I thought I was sore this morning. When I got home this afternoon my thighs were screaming so loud I could barely walk a straight line. So... I may have to do some adjusting.

I will sell a bunch of leftovers via CraigsList, and deal with the spammers that want me to either send my shit to Nigeria or donate it to charity. I feel like I'm okay to do that now. Much of what got sold were pieces of my past that had been lingering in the garage for way too long, acting like a magnet for all the other shit to stay, too.

Right now I am either going to medicate or vegetate. Or both. My legs are killing me.

I think I may have just put the last dressing on Grady's neck.

This is good, because I am all out of gauze now. He's been scratching at it, and (unfortunately) getting his tongue and teeth caught in it as he eagerly makes up for lost bathtime in certain places. Getting his mouth caught on the dressing is not fun. He makes this Quazimodo noise that's scary as hell, so I've kept the cone on as much as possible.

Tonight, though, I looked at the wound and it's healing up rather well. If he hadn't torn it open earlier it would be over and done with sooner. I'm going to put the cone on him tonight, and if it looks good in the morning I'll let him go naked tomorrow. He should love that.

I am looking forward to getting back to my daily walks to and from the bus to work. The activity will do me good, and I really need to burn some of this crap off my body. I already bought a new pair of pants because of it. I did not enjoy that AT ALL. Least favorite shopping trip, ever. However, it was either that or change into Crazy Cat Lady sweats every day when I get home. Pants that don't fit are a constant reminder of the Feline 15 I just put on.

In other news, I have begun to receive comment notifications in my LJ Messages in addition to email. I went to my account info and am unable to un-select this new option. I can either get notices in email AND within LJ, or not at all. Huh. That is incredibly irritating. I blame the Russians.

For the third week in a row I am sick.

Two weeks ago I came down with something that took all my energy and strength, so I slept more than I normally do and felt better after a couple of days.

Last week I ate something that caused me serious stomach distress. I was unable to eat non-simple foods without consequence for days as my digestive tract recovered.

Now that I'm able to eat real food in small quantities I have caught yet another bug, this one giving me an uncomfortable fever, headache, and weakness. I also have a "glass throat" thing going on, and my nose is running a little bit.

Who am I? Job? Sheesh!

I am hoping this is the last of it, and whatever it is that is the root of all these illnesses resolves itself. It was such a beautiful weekend I couldn't stay indoors, but I was in no shape to do a lot of socializing. We attended a game night BBQ on Friday and a gathering with Ken's friends on Sunday, but that was all I could really take. I was exhausted most of the time and worried that my stomach wouldn't be able to handle the variety offered. I keep forgetting I'm not the norm when it comes to certain foods.

For the next three days I am going to lay low, keep quiet, and hope I can get back to a calm place where I can get some things done here at home. I panic way too easily these days. Quiet and peace are the only way I can prepare myself for the next wave of activity.

After sleeping for 36 hours, I felt pretty good. Then I went out and made myself feel bad again. I'm taking it easy today in preparation of tonight's show, because all that's left is an annoying cough that some hot liquids will probably take care of. I do feel a lot better than I did day before yesterday. I was so beat up I would stop speaking mid-sentence and just stare into space.

Sadly, Troublefaker Barbie will not be ready by tonight. All the time I had budgeted for her this week was sucked up by this cold. She will be available for raffle at a future show.



I'm fine. I seem to be addicted to the Tiger Woods red Gatorade.

Oh, and if you're over on Facebook you need to start playing Bejeweled Blitz. With me. Now.

ETA: Well HELLO THERE LARGE GRAPHIC
I thought about editing it or putting it behind a cut, but... nah.

I felt like I had never left and never really been there before all at once. I also may have pulled a muscle in my shoulder.

I'm off my meds since the bacterial infection laid me out and forced me to limit my intake to 800 calories or less a day. How the hell do anorectics do that? I was foggy and judgment-impaired for a week, AND premenstrual to boot. Needless to say, it hasn't been a good time for me. My food lust is back in force, and in the last couple of days I have found myself unable to avoid eating when I am full or not hungry. I have been able to pace myself so far with the Valentine candy I bought myself. The Girl Scout cookies are another story entirely.

So today is as good a day as any to get started on that one week trial over at Evolution Fitness. I learned a lot about my limitations when it comes to a gym -- location is only part of the equation. I don't like a crowded gym, and I don't like a quiet gym. I've never been in a gym where you can't just go up to the counter and ask them to change the channel on the sound system. I end up tuning it out anyway, and earbuds are uncomfortable. Evolution was empty enough for me to get everything done and had just enough music going on in the background to keep it from being creepy.

I realized that after six months of Winter I can still jog for several minutes without too many problems. The stairmaster is still too much for some reason (I find this irritating, as it was my cardio of choice back in '89-92). A bunch of other things, but for the most part this gym will do fine. The only thing keeping me from jumping into a membership is not knowing where my next job will be. My shoulders and back are swollen from lifting and will be pretty sore in a couple of days. It feels really, really good.

As for the meds, I'll have to return to them soon. I can't do the destructive eating and be sick and cranky all the time. I prefer being able to eat only when I'm hungry and having the freedom to eat with friends without overdoing it. I will talk to my doctor about these tendencies. Maybe there's something more effective I can take or something else to consider when it comes to my appetite.

But yeah... I like the direction this is going. Amanda gave me a 2nd-hand stationary bike to dink around with. I think it needs some WD-40, but it otherwise works great. Grady is not convinced. I really should have done this months ago when it started to get really cold.

Looks like I may have found a new gym over off of Willows Road. I'm going to head over there on Tuesday to see what they're all about and maybe get a membership. They're not open later than 9pm, so that might get sticky, but I should be okay. I need to get back into a groove of some kind. I'm tired of feeling down all the time, and hate that all winter I've been pretty much doing nothing but counting calories and praying for a healthy weight. I deserve to feel good in my own skin. I deserve to look good in my own skin. If I get back up to 210 I don't know what I'll do with myself.

I hate being heavy. I'm overdue for doing something about it.