Picture

[fatrockstar]

I am in denial of who I am. Current events have challenged my self-perception. How strong am I? How invulnerable can one person actually be? I don't consider myself ugly or glamorous. I'm not fat or thin. Pretty? sure. Soft? more than I'd like.

Physical characteristics only go so far. When it comes to what makes you worthy of love, looks are only part of the equation for the most superficial of hearts. I refuse to believe that it truly doesn't matter. You have to get someone's attention somehow, right?

Me, I have little things I hate about my appearance. If you see them in the photographs above, then great -- please keep those to yourself, as I am neurotic enough -- you're either highly intuitive or incredibly picky. I assure you none of the things I hate about myself have kept me from getting a date. The only thing that has kept me from getting a date is actually wanting to be asked out. It must me a balance of the universe thing.

Beneath the surface is another story. I'm rather old-fashioned about certain things and modern about others. I tend to protect myself first and open up later. This comes across poorly, and mixed with my sense of humor can be misconstrued as "mean." I don't like being thought of as weak or vulnerable, but I am loving and compassionate. There's a lot of conflicting qualities in my personality that I am trying to make sense of. I want to be the good son. I want to be the career woman. I want to succeed at something wonderful. I want to lead a remarkable life.

This is what happens when I sit at home and decide not to look for work for a few days. If anyone's on MSN, Yahoo, or AIM, say hey.

Comments

[victoriapringle.livejournal.com]

I think you should try purple rather than red....everything looks good with purple ;)

Seriously thought you do look great in those pictures.

[winifred.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

Pics

[sea-gaagii.livejournal.com]

I am sure you weren't trolling for compliments, but you will get them anyway. You look great, you have nothing to worry about when you decided to date again.

Re: Pics

[winifred.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

I don't think my looks will keep me from dating, but my lack of self-confidence will. I have to figure out how to get past five years of being told I'm not good enough. That's the tough part.

[springmeadow.livejournal.com]

Well, I think you have beautiful eyes and a nice smile!