I didn't write this, but it expresses my feelings exactly.

[fatrockstar]

In response to a FARK thread on a NJ community attempting to ban children (http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=618277)

Wow, just wow. I find this seething hatred or disdain, if you prefer, for children amazing. How is it that one can claim no obigation to anyone but oneself? We were all children once and the blessed lives we lead full of such wonders as electricity, running water, ubiquitous medical care, and a million other modern miracles and conveniences are all owed to a grand society built on the sacrifices of millions who came before. We did not come out of the womb fully eductated and fully able to provide for ourselves, nor were our families the only parties responsible for our upbringing. We don't live in a vacuum. We all depend on and support eachother everyday. Have we no sense of integrity? No spirit of charity or community? It's shameful and a hypocrisy of the highest order to decry paying only your fair share for all the benefits you enjoy that were bought in blood and sweat not your own. The choice to have or not have children is ours to make. I don't laud or encourage indiscriminate birthing of children. Parenting is a difficult path and should not be one taken lightly. Nevertheless, choosing to not have children is not a free ticket out of the responsiblity of living in a human society. Grow up.

Comments

[blowtorch-betty.livejournal.com]

Is there an article or something that this stems from? I'm reserving judgement until I know what it's about exactly.

Banning children how? Is this a tax thing or an "I don't want screaming kids in the next yard" thing?

[winifred.livejournal.com]

If you click the link, there is another link to the article in question at the top of the page. I think that it's a little of both: not wanting to be taxed for children they don't know, have, or welcome, and also just being too accustomed to not having children around that they're annoyed by them.

[blowtorch-betty.livejournal.com]

I'm wholly against the first part but I have to admit to being in the same boat with the second. If I didn't live with small children on three sides I'd be a much more relaxed person.

There are two types of parents that I have run into...

[dustin-00.livejournal.com]

1) They planned the kid, they arranged for everything. They have the kid. The raise it. They teach it. Their whole world revolves around the child. The kid grows up brilliant and active, polite and smiling.

2) Woman wanted to be a mother and had a kid. Dad's opinion didn't matter in any case (10 months ago at lunch my boss was laughing and so glad he didn't have kids -- he'll be a daddy in two weeks -- WTF?!? He likes to go on week-long ski trips where you hike into the mountains to ski down untouched snow. Guess that's over). Anyway, these "parents" act like the world owes them something. When the school sends a list of things home that the child needs for class they freak out that the school isn't paying for it. They're pissed that day care costs so much and are counting the days until they can put the kid in public schools. The kids are desperate for attention they never get. They practicly live in fear of their father. When their kid gets a bad grade they yell at the teacher (who often asks "why weren't you at parent/teacher night?"). The kids are dragged about like baggage as mom pretends that her life hasn't changed (yeah, bringing 4 kids into a coffee shop and letting them loose like it's the McDonalds Funland is a good idea!).

I am too busy with too many interests to be parent #1, and I'm not going inflict myself as parent #2 on some poor soul. I don't want/have kids because I care deeply about them and believe they deserve and need to be the certer of their parent's world. This world has enough screw-ups, I don't need to add to that pile.

Re: There are two types of parents that I have run into...

[winifred.livejournal.com]

Amen to that.

It seems like option #2 is what we see the most of. Isn't it funny how we don't see more of option #1, even though there are probably more of them? And don't forget option #3: Parent-by-surprise, for whatever reason. These parents are often either flying by the seat of their pants, or adopting the latest child-rearing pop-philosophy. They may have healthy kids, but they're strange kids and usually end up in therapy.

If someone doesn't want or like children they should not be forced to or be made to feel guilty for their choice. It appalls me that childless-by-choice people are supposed to feel bad for that choice--especially knowing that a child born out of guilt or obligation is not going to have a happy life (no matter how much their folks say they love them).

But at the same time, I really like children. I liked working with them, I like playing with them, I like listening to their stories, and I like that they remind me that there was once a time in my own life where I didn't worry so much and felt loved and cherished. I think I'd make a good parent. :)

And here's the other thing that scares me about having kids...

[dustin-00.livejournal.com]

That they end up like this:

http://smh.com.au/articles/2003/08/14/1060588505324.html

Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!

Re: And here's the other thing that scares me about having kids...

[winifred.livejournal.com]

Good lord. Where do these people come from?