Elvis & Priscilla are officially on my shit list

[fatrockstar]

As I walked outside to fill my bird feeder this evening the dogs next door were going ape shit. I was curious if my slab-o-concrete was holding up at all but when I looked I didn't see it. This was not a good sign. Just as I thought that, Priscilla stuck her head out of the hole she dug under the fence and started working her body through it. I lost it and chased after her, yelling. She was aggressive but backed back in to her side of the fence.

From what I could see she just continued to work on that fucking hole all goddamn day long after I covered it, and then through to the next day. The garden liner had been dug out onto my neighbor's side of the fence, and the concrete was nearly there. I was livid at finding that nothing had slowed this dog's digging down at all, a fact not made any better by both dogs barking non-stop. I was yelling at the dogs to shut up, even though I knew it wouldn't do any good (like I said, I was livid).

After a string of really loud obscenities (classy, I know)I realized nobody in the house was coming out to see what all the commotion was. There weren't even any lights on in the house. Did she leave her dogs outside all day? What parent of a five-year-old isn't home at 8pm? Seriously -- what the hell?

I was still pissed off when I went into the front yard to get the garden hose spool. Two doors down some of my other neighbors were gathered in a driveway, talking. None of them were the offending neighbor. I'm sure I gave them plenty to talk about.

In the back yard I attached the hose and sprayer and walked over to the hole in the fence. When Priscilla stuck her head out I drenched her. I did this every time she got close to the fence, whether it was under it or trying to press her face through the half-inch spaces between slats. I kept this up for ten minutes until there was a nice little pool in the hole she had dug and she was no longer coming after me.

It didn't occur to me until after I'd turned the water off and gone inside that if this dog was as dense as its owner it probably stuck its face in the mud after I left. The only thing that keeps me from feeling bad about that is knowing a muddy dog will be sleeping in that house tonight, probably on someone's bed.

When Garret and I moved into this house two and a half years ago the yards were shit. They were covered in weeds and moss, and had patches where grass no longer grew. With the help of a good landscaper we managed to turn everything into something rather nice. No bare patches, very few dandelions, and the moss is all but gone. The only thing we weren't able to really take care of was the area by the fence. You can probably guess why. I worked too hard on this yard to have a dog come in and fuck it up by digging.

Fine. If Priscilla wants to crawl under the fence she can until I can pour concrete into that hole. In the meantime I plan on leaving the gate open. Maybe another escape will get my absent neighbor's attention. God knows she's never home when any of this is actually happening.

Comments

[mimimimi-word.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed with the inginuity of your solution! What kind of dogs are Elvis and Pricilla? You're more brave than I am, especially if the dog was aggressive

[jbluemoon.livejournal.com]

Have you talked to your neighbor about her dogs? You know, I think you can call Animal Control on her ass. Those dogs could end up getting hurt because of her neglect.

[winifred.livejournal.com]

I *think* they may be of the black lab mix persuasion. In their defense, the only reason Priscilla got pissy with me was because I yelled at her. Still, these dogs have serious behavior problems even without me irritating them. :-(

[winifred.livejournal.com]

She's never home when I am. If she's at home in the morning I'm of no mind to putter over there at 6:30 to tell her her dogs woke me up. I don't know if she'd do anything about it anyway.

But yeah, Animal Control will be called. I've had enough of their disruptive and destructive behavior. She's overdue for having the dog problem addressed.

[dishapeaches.livejournal.com]

I love your mud idea! Maybe if the dog tracks enough mud into her house she'll get the hint.

Hey! How about if you line the hole with that plastic sheeting and keep it filled with water?

[winifred.livejournal.com]

I thought of that, but any activity near that hole when the dogs are there is going to make that difficult -- and those poor dogs are almost always outside.

Once I know they're inside, or otherwise unable to bug me at the fence, I will do just this. Another option I am considering is filling the hole with rough rock or bricks. That one slab just wasn't enough...

[dishapeaches.livejournal.com]

How about sprinkling some really super-hot hot sauce around the hole too? I heard this works. Never tried it though...

[springmeadow.livejournal.com]

This is pretty funny! My boyfriend Owen lives on a farm where there are two dogs, Elvis and Priscilla, who are always in trouble. They even ripped up the side of his outhouse so now when you sit down to pee, everyone can see your rear end.