fatrockstar: (jokermartha)
I have determined that whatever is causing my sore throat is INSIDE this house. I don't know what it is or how I can pinpoint it, I just know that my throat is sore to the point where singing is difficult and I often have a dry cough. In addition to that I am also suffering from super-dry sinuses and my eyes are intermittently on fire. This overall pain and discomfort is very frustrating because I know my dad would like to hear from me and I also have a gig on Sunday afternoon to sing for. I can't have long conversations with a glass throat.

All this started to escalate after PAX, which is also when temperatures broke 80 here. Now that it's rainy and in the 60s I thought for sure it would calm down. Noop.

It's not Martha, either. I was having this problem before she came to live with us and it hasn't become worse by being near her. Is it a moisture thing? I'm worried that if I turn on my humidifier and I'm wrong it could make everything worse. I have a huge fear that my crawlspace, which I have not ventured into for a Very Long Time, is a biosphere all its own and has finally outgrown the space beneath my house to infect me with its alien micro-organisms.

Speaking of Martha, she is painfully adorable. She is also painfully codependent and follows me everywhere, chirping at me in her squeaky little meao. I am concerned I will end up with two cats anyway, which will upset me, but I don't want to traumatize an animal with endless hours of loneliness she doesn't want.

So far we haven't really established a Grady-esque rapport. The only things that really come through are LOVE ME and WATCH ME EAT. We'll get there, I'm sure.



I pulled a white corset out of the dark corners of my closet and decided I was going to fuck with it. Why not, right? I spent $40 on it for my wedding back in '02 and have worn it maybe once since. At first I considered spray painting it red and doing the WW motif, but that's way too predictable. Instead I ripped off the tacky lacy trim and am painting it a lovely royal blue. Maybe I'll add some new trim if I have something worthwhile here in the house, but for now it's drying in the garage.



My new washing machine arrived this week and will take some getting used to. Instead of standard washing machine noises this one sounds like it's heaving during the wash cycle. I honestly thought for a moment that it was going to vomit my clothes all over the interior of my laundry room. That would have been terrifying.



I've been thinking about my former in-laws a lot lately. I put away Nate & Karen's wedding party photo a long time ago, but the last family picture they sent me is still up on my wall along with photos of other family members I don't get to see very often or at all. I'm pretty sure a lot has changed since the last time we heard from each other. The more time that passes the more awkward it seems to reach out and say hello, but life goes on. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for the Blues. Despite my ex's past behavior, I still love them and want them to be peaceful and happy.



Has anyone using Netflix seen The Hard Times of RJ Berger? I finished season 1 and loved it. Season 2 isn't available for streaming, which sucks, but I'm digging it. Word to the wise: I like strange television. My recommendations are not solid.
fatrockstar: (cookie monster)
I should get into the habit of not being on the computer while talking to people on the phone unless I am looking up something for them.

The local paper reports that the storm wasn't as bad as predicted and the worst has passed. Now we just have to become comfortable with having a white Christmas and try not to kill each other out on the roads.

In the meantime there are thousands of people just like me who can't afford to not go to work on the three days of the week surrounding the Christmas holiday. I also can't go see Miss Judy, and can't do a number of things I had planned to do in the days before the world stands still. There is one thing I will be doing on Monday that no one can stop me from doing, and that's making a delivery of merchandise to a fellow in Everett who wants to give his wife a happy surprise on Christmas morning. I made a promise and intend to keep it.

I worry more about my habit of isolating myself than I do about relating to other people. I'm fine relating to others, it's creating the situation that is difficult. I wonder if it's just me, if I would do the same thing somewhere else.

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary. Garret didn't appear in court, so the petition was dismissed. I haven't seen him in a year.

I need to get rid of this house.
fatrockstar: (cookie monster)
I fell asleep on the sofa last night figuring I'd eventually get uncomfortable and move to my bed. That didn't happen. I spent all night there and woke up with Tom & Jerry on the television.

I've been watching you waltz all night Diane
Nobody's found a way behind your defenses
They never notice the zap gun in your hand
Until you're pointing it and stunning their senses
*

I dreamed of shopping. There are a lot of cute clothes in the department store of my subconscious.

This week I got pulled over for expired tabs on my car. The universe finally said "enough of this!" and I found myself in a position in traffic where I would inevitably get pulled over. I had the right of way, and the cop fell into place behind me. I'm just grateful that he was a) incredibly hot, and b) super polite. Before everybody says "oh shit that sucks" at me: My tabs have been expired since the end of April. This year I can't get a renewal without an emissions check, and the place that does it is out of my way, so I put it off. $216 + my renewal fee, out the window.

Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Pay your taxes.

My weight has evened out and is no longer climbing. I'm pretty happy about that. The grand total of my planned weight loss is now... 1.8lbs. Not exactly on schedule for my original goal. I'm thinking I should probably use another metric to track my progress. YOU on a Diet suggests I track my waist measurement, since that's the bodyfat that has the most impact on health, and I may do that.

A lot of little things this week, and none of it is really important enough for me to stress out. I do anyway. It might be nice to get out if I can bring myself to do that. There's a housewarming party going on for a friend of mine I do vocal work with that I might go to. It would be better if I had someone to go with. I *will* get out of this house today. I mean it -- don't make me turn this car around!

Grady is fine. Teamun is fine. The house is fine. I am fine. Don't ask about the car.

*For some strange reason, this song always pops into my head when I sleep on the sofa with the television playing. It has no relevance otherwise.
fatrockstar: (cookie monster)
Being on the job has stirred up something in the universe, and now I am not only interacting with people in person on a regular basis, but people are initiating conversations with me from everywhere. I like talking to people, I'm just not sure I'm doing it right. I can't tell if I'm making friends or digging myself deeper into a hole of social ineptitude.

Rather than stress myself out trying to find gigs (a task that requires me to sell myself and my music, basically tell someone else why I'm cool and they should book me when I don't feel that cool) I told the band I wanted to take the next couple of months to record, and if a gig came up we could take it, but I wasn't up for continuing the burden of constant rejection and need a break. They were all for it.

So if you haven't seen my band, or have wanted to see my band, you need to be at The Skylark on Thursday October 30th. Music starts at 9. I haven't decided if I'm dressing up as Elvis or Wonder Woman.

As for talking to people, I'll get used to it. I'm grateful to those people who have reached out -- I've been lucky they're all friendly and smart and think I'm cool enough to contact -- if only I didn't live in Seattle. I really hate how awkward this place makes what should be the normal progression of new friendships. I get the feeling that if I find another romantic relationship it won't be here. If that's the case I already know what I have to do.
fatrockstar: (singer)
It took a bit of a headache to actually GET to the listening party at QAHS, but I did it, and got there on time. Found parking easily, too. Michael (Dark Angel Productions, Angels*Devils*Ghosts) let me in, and directed me to the loft where the party was being held.

I recognized a person or two from when I recorded the single and one was decked out in full-blown Goth Formal. I'm not really into Goth, but I do enjoy some of the fashion. I'll often see a dress or a jacket or just a little something that catches my eye and it gives me an idea. Out of context, the idea is not so Gothy, which is fine with me.

At any rate, there were a lot of creative people attending. I met Michael's wife and a number of painters, musicians, and other high-creatives. It was really nice. They served dinner and lots of wine with ghost-themed labels. Two tables of SWAG for the band and the label were set up and I got a nice hoodie and some caps. I didn't understand the caps, but I needed a cool one to go under my bike helmet. Michael encouraged me to get more than one so I got three.

After dinner Michael set up the song for playing and introduced key players in getting the recording done so quickly. There were probably eight of us -- two were other female vocalists, which worried me a little (hello, ego!), but it turns out their contribution was very different from mine. The track played and it sounded much fuller than the scratch track I was given at the studio on the day I recorded. Two more male voices were added, the story told by the song expanded upon, and everything just gelled. I really really want a copy of this single.

Speaking of "single," after hearing the final mastered mix, the compilation producers for the album this song will go on decided it's a candidate to be released as a single. That's pretty cool, actually.

So after all this Michael introduces me to a photographer friend (Seanh) and tells me he wants to do a photo shoot with "the band." I'm not dressed for a photo shoot! Holy crap! Well, wait -- I am still in my business clothes from work, so that might be okay. The wife of the man in Goth Formal, Kathy, loaned me a very nice vintage 3/4 sleeve duster to wear over my business clothes. It looked really nice. I guess I was ready to go.

Kathy was taking pictures, too, along with Seanh and another photographer. Too many cooks! But it turned out okay. Seanh told me I was very photogenic. Nobody has ever said that about me, so I was floored. I blurted the first thing out of my mouth. "I've never liked any picture ever taken of me!" She said "really?" and suggested her pictures would be different. I told her I was looking forward to her proving me wrong. I then went out and rocked the catwalk, so to speak. It was a lot of fun. Seanh, Kathy, and the other photographer took a LOT of pictures.

When we finally returned to the party, people were still hanging out and listening to music. Some had picked up a second plate of dinner, which sounded like a really good idea to me...

I sat down on the sofa with Seanh and Kathy, and we talked like old friends. I don't get to do that like I used to, and I'm not sure why I was less reserved with these people than I am with the rest of my friends. Maybe it has something to do with being around other industry people. Maybe it's a Southern thing. Non-native Seattle-ites are much easier to connect with quickly. Later we were joined by Michael's wife and her grandmother, who owned the loft we were hanging out in. It was a lot of fun, and I made some new friends.

Actually, I think I'm just finally at a point where I do not feel obligated to hide myself anymore, or limit my personality to a body on the stage.

Now what? Well, there were no CD's at the party, but he was taking pre-orders, so I jumped in there and asked for two. I may be restricted from posting the track online, but I can always ask if a partial one is okay. Big labels do that all the time on MySpace. I don't think any of Amy Winehouse's tracks there are complete.

It was a good night. I made new friends, had my picture taken, and was part of a music project that was new to me in a few ways. This facet of my life has the most potential at the moment. I can't wait to see what happens next.

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