It's a fitness post

Wednesday, 19 May 2010 13:30
fatrockstar: (Mrs. Clean)
It's been a while since I talked about my weight management/fitness. Like most people I am on a perpetual mission to reduce my mass to a sylph-like composition of muscle and bone, and like most people I'm not terribly good at it.

Recap: A little over a year ago I was enjoying myself at a clean 190lbs. This was the lightest I'd been in years, and can be attributed to not having a lot to eat, walking and biking everywhere, and maintaining a regular (and low-stress) schedule. I started a new relationship, joined a gym, and started to change shape a bit. During this time I didn't bother looking at the scale (because they're deceptive if you're putting on muscle). My intake changed when my income and personal drama changed, and last week I weighed in at 215. I haven't been 215 since I was married. Naturally, this is upsetting.

A lot of people will look at me in disbelief when I tell them how much I weigh, but to me, this is what 215lbs looks like. I look at other people my size and I think they weigh more than they really do. Maybe they're just being nice, but at a size 16US, I feel like a cow -- it doesn't matter if my biceps or lats are impressive. They still don't fit into a size 12 dress.

How do I know 215 is an unhealthy number for me? It has a lot to do with what I can and can't do for exercise. One of the things I enjoyed after I got below 200 is running, followed by dancing, and other moderate-impact sports. If I tried that today I would feel it in my back, knees, and ankles, and it sucks. However...

As I was bent over drying my hair today I looked down and noticed my awesome quads, and how they add a great shape to my legs. Those are the rewards.

A little about routine and gym partners )

In a nutshell, I put on some weight. Much of it was probably muscle, but since I've been eating recklessly it could also be blubber. My back hurts, I love my Wii, and 1986 was not a great year for exercise videos.

Now back to the job hunt. Things are looking good out there.
fatrockstar: (madmen)
I ordered my eyeglasses on Saturday. My current benefits end at the end of this month, so I am taking full advantage of them. It's about time -- I've been with this agency through three contracts and paid for benefits without using them until now, so I don't feel the least bit guilty about the optical and dental appointments I've made now that I have the time for them.

The glasses themselves, well, I was told to go to Costco ("they have the best prices!") but they don't accept insurance. I was given a few places, really, but settled on LensCrafters. They take insurance and have a slightly larger selection of frames. I picked the most flattering nerd-glasses I could find and called it good. All in all, I paid about $150. I hear that's decent.

The only sucky thing is that I have to wait ten days for them to be finished. At this point in time my eyes are so beaten up from the poor hardware at my last job that I can barely look at a screen for more than an hour at a time. This includes television screens, computer screens, DS screens, movie screens... they all create problems, and the $20 readers you get at the drugstore aren't weak enough for the adjustment I need. I will do what I can online in one-hour increments and keep my fingers crossed that the glasses get finished early.

+ + + + + + +

In other news, my car is almost inoperable. The brakes chirp because I need new ones, and recently my engine has begun threatening to overheat unless I turn the heater on full blast. The brakes issue is the easy part. The engine temp is a tougher one to figure out -- the radiator is full and there are no leaks to be found. All the automobile knowledge in my head is no help, and until my next job I am unable to take it to a shop.

Not being able to drive is not new. A couple of summers ago I rode my bike almost everywhere and saved a fortune in gas (it was about $4/gallon then). The new challenge is figuring out how to pay for the bus to get me to the major areas where biking the entire way isn't practical. ORCA cards aren't nearly as much of a money saver as good old bus passes were.

+ + + + + + +

I was denied mortgage assistance because I could not "provide enough evidence of financial hardship." In other words, because I had $200 left over after my monthly expenses and had not missed a mortgage payment even when un- and under-employed, I'm ineligible. This sucks. I pretty much destroyed my credit for no reason by applying for assistance at all, and now I have nothing to show for it. I feel I'm justified in being angry about this. I worked very hard and made a lot of sacrifices to stay current in my payments -- this is my reward for being an honest citizen and trying to do the right thing. I shouldn't have to commit fraud to get the help I need.

+ + + + + + +

Those glasses can't get here soon enough. Seriously, they can't. I'm dividing my time between catching up on housework, taking care of band business, and job-hunting, and two of those things will require use of my eyes at 100% capacity.

The good news is that I know I will find something a lot sooner than I did the last time I was job hunting, and it will pay enough for me to catch up with everything I fell behind in during my last job.

If any of you local job-hunters find something that looks like a good fit and ISN'T at Microsoft (I'm not eligible to work there again until late August at the earliest), please feel free to send it my way.
fatrockstar: (enVphone)
Somewhere out there, a graphic design-minded meathead is patting himself on the back for being so clever. "Fitness Model" is the absolute LAST (and worst) pursuit Barbie could ever have.

Nice job, brotard.


fatrockstar: (dragon)
At some point this week I put on my comfy jeans and they were snug - like it had just happened overnight! I knew I had been pushing myself pretty hard at the gym, especially with cardio, and my appetite reflected this. I am guessing this, actually -- I haven't noticed myself eating differently other than a few extra meals out. And maybe a few sweets. Maybe. I guess that will do it...

In response, I have had to re-evaluate my intake, so I am cutting back on sweets HARD. Now all I can think about is chocolate. With Valentine candy on shelves, you'd think I'd be making little boxes of faux candies in heart-shaped boxes, but no. Instead, I'm making these. )
fatrockstar: (Martha)
I am not traveling in Europe and have not found myself with only 30 minutes of time at a library computer. Just want to put that out there.

With very little to spare, I managed to have a Christmas that was pretty nice. I tried to send my sister a piece of nostalgia as a gift, but I think it didn't get there in one piece. I can't tell - she didn't pick up her phone on Friday OR Saturday, and all I have to go on is a cryptic text message. If she hates it, fine. Something is better than nothing, which is what I get from her every year. I'd rather not worry, though. She'd better call soon.

Lots of video games came my way. I only wish I had the strength to play them. One was a fitness game for my Wii that I'd been mooning over for a while (yay!) but I won't be able to play it until I get over this cold.

I hate being sick.

Lots of chicken soup and vitamin C. I'm hoping this time around won't require any Afrin. Cold medicine is expensive.
fatrockstar: (Default)
I am full of Mediterranean food and will probably smell like garlic for a few days.

I know it is unwise to stuff my face when I'm stressed, but I can't really do much else unless I drive somewhere. My ankle has been dodgy since PAX, and running on it is pretty uncomfortable. Did I mention my car isn't safe to drive right now? If it snows or gets icy, I'm stuck -- the tires are worn and my 4WD *still* needs repair from last Winter.

The Etsy store did/is doing better than I thought it would. I just need more inventory. Three more Holly Jolly Rogers went up this week, but they aren't selling as quickly. If you post my link (and many of you have THANK YOU) it would help me out.

just the Flash banner )

It's quiet here now. I've only been sitting here 20 minutes and I can feel the invisible grip on my guts loosen. You know, I really do want to relax and enjoy the season. It's hard to do so when the last umpteen years have made Christmas All About Buying, and this is the year you have no money. Having nothing to give makes it even harder to receive. There's a lot of wounded pride involved.

I am grateful that I can still write and create, and that all my game consoles still work (knock on wood).

I am grateful for the people who care about me.

I am grateful for Grady, whether he cares or not.

I am grateful for the magic blanket that keeps me warm at night.

I am grateful for my bandmates and playmates.

I'm trying to think positive here, people. Every little bit I can eke out gets me that much further from stress.


Tuesday, 3 November 2009 22:41
fatrockstar: (jokermartha)
I went home Monday feeling so queasy I could hardly function. It didn't help that my officemate was wearing a fragrance that made my nausea worse. He must wear it every day -- he was genuinely surprised I asked him what that smell was.

I originally thought "food poisoning," but that usually clears up after a purge. After the third trip to the bathroom I ruled that out. I must have a stomach bug. Today I worked from home.

I haven't eaten much over the last 48 hours. Saltines, some Sprite, maybe some Gatorade. Tonight I felt well enough to eat half of a turkey sandwich, and now it's sitting like a rock in my gut. Ugh. At least I'm not vomiting (knock on wood).

Grady has been by my side constantly during all this. He's such a good boy.

There's more stress-inducing crap that has made my recovery slow, but I won't go into it here. It's hard enough to focus on getting things uploaded to my Etsy store:

I should be back at the office on Wednesday. Should.

Work OUT

Monday, 28 September 2009 19:35
fatrockstar: (Mrs. Clean)
I did some serious damage to my legs on Friday. I could barely walk all weekend. Ken convinced me to get some IcyHot or other minty goo to put on my aching muscles, but all it managed to do was soften my skin, give me a chill, and make my house smell like a roll of wintergreen Certs. I should have gone with the Aspercreme. Mint is bad enough, but I can't stand wintergreen.

Predictably, the weight on the scale has shot up as I pack muscle back on this frame. I have always been able to bulk up quickly, but as I get older the fat burning part is tougher. Ever since my activity level increased I have been fighting with my sweet tooth for easy energy. Keeping healthy snacks around only works when your sweet tooth is in check -- I can't tell you how many times I have had healthy snacks right in front of me but still walked down to the 7-11 for a brownie.

I'm not in as much pain now as I was Sunday. Oh god that was horrible. I couldn't get up out of any chair. Sitting down had to either be done carefully or by dropping into the seat. I had to use a stepladder and the window sill to get up off the toilet. The last time I experienced such agony was probably twenty years ago at WSU, where I was a full-fledged gymrat.

Part of this pain was the challenge of doing squats again. I did a full set, with modest weight, always going at least parallel with a couple of ass-to-grass ones during my lighter set. My back was to the room and there was no mirror in front of me, but I was told that one guy was totally mesmerized by my ass. Apparently he stared at it until my training partner caught his eye and gave him a "look."

I don't think I have challenged my upper body nearly as much. We'll find out tomorrow if I'm doing enough there. Stay tuned for the post that says "I haven't eaten all day because I can't lift anything to my mouth."

It's over!

Saturday, 26 September 2009 20:34
fatrockstar: (cookie monster)
I knew I would be stressed out by the rummage sale, and was not wrong. I barely made $100 -- the big ticket items sold, as did a lot of the old wedding stuff -- and ended cherry-picking from what was left to send to St. Vincent de Paul. I wasn't going to let go of it all, like some people did. One family had a LOT of really cool stuff, but when the sale was over just had the St. Vinnie's truck pull up to their spot and load everything up.

Now I'm at home, trying to chill out after a ridiculously long day. Friday was "Legs Day" at the gym, and the workout was brutal. I thought I was sore after the workout. I thought I was sore this morning. When I got home this afternoon my thighs were screaming so loud I could barely walk a straight line. So... I may have to do some adjusting.

I will sell a bunch of leftovers via CraigsList, and deal with the spammers that want me to either send my shit to Nigeria or donate it to charity. I feel like I'm okay to do that now. Much of what got sold were pieces of my past that had been lingering in the garage for way too long, acting like a magnet for all the other shit to stay, too.

Right now I am either going to medicate or vegetate. Or both. My legs are killing me.

Not unscathed

Tuesday, 8 September 2009 21:50
fatrockstar: (ds)
I could not stay awake at work today, had an esophageal spasm that hurt like a mofo, and developed a obnoxious throat-clearing habit that occasionally becomes a cough. I do have a small fever and my sinuses are questionable. The whole "falling-asleep-at-work" thing turned into "fighting-to-stay-awake-on-the-drive-home," which was scary as fuck. Once I pulled into the garage and turned off the engine I fell asleep in my car for a good ten minutes.

Hopefully this is just "con crud," because that tends to happen when large groups of nerds/geeks/dorks congregate. I will be doing everything in my power to recover no matter what it is, though -- I really don't want to have to cancel my shows this week/weekend.

Mona's Bistro & Lounge: 9/10, 9:30pm Acoustic set w/Ron
O. O. Denny Park Annual Picnic: 9/13, around 2, full band
fatrockstar: (Default)
I think I may have just put the last dressing on Grady's neck.

This is good, because I am all out of gauze now. He's been scratching at it, and (unfortunately) getting his tongue and teeth caught in it as he eagerly makes up for lost bathtime in certain places. Getting his mouth caught on the dressing is not fun. He makes this Quazimodo noise that's scary as hell, so I've kept the cone on as much as possible.

Tonight, though, I looked at the wound and it's healing up rather well. If he hadn't torn it open earlier it would be over and done with sooner. I'm going to put the cone on him tonight, and if it looks good in the morning I'll let him go naked tomorrow. He should love that.

I am looking forward to getting back to my daily walks to and from the bus to work. The activity will do me good, and I really need to burn some of this crap off my body. I already bought a new pair of pants because of it. I did not enjoy that AT ALL. Least favorite shopping trip, ever. However, it was either that or change into Crazy Cat Lady sweats every day when I get home. Pants that don't fit are a constant reminder of the Feline 15 I just put on.

In other news, I have begun to receive comment notifications in my LJ Messages in addition to email. I went to my account info and am unable to un-select this new option. I can either get notices in email AND within LJ, or not at all. Huh. That is incredibly irritating. I blame the Russians.

I stink

Monday, 6 July 2009 23:08
fatrockstar: (band)
Seriously, I do. I had to run for the bus this morning, then I ended up walking about a mile or so this afternoon to get home. Add the rising heat of the afternoon and a band rehearsal, and I smell like a sack of onions and something else I don't really feel like going into right now.

Let's just say I can tell when I'm ovulating.

Wrote a new song tonight, finished up one we started last week called FOUR STARS ON EXPERT. Donnie's son, Parker, didn't get it. "But the best you can do is FIVE stars, so your song is wrong!" "Ah, young Parker, there's the rub. People who can actually get five stars on expert wouldn't write a song about it. One needs something to look forward to in life." "Oh." Parker is nine (I think).

I'm debating taking a shower before bed. I am that stinky. Yes I am.

Three for three

Tuesday, 26 May 2009 14:36
fatrockstar: (Default)
For the third week in a row I am sick.

Two weeks ago I came down with something that took all my energy and strength, so I slept more than I normally do and felt better after a couple of days.

Last week I ate something that caused me serious stomach distress. I was unable to eat non-simple foods without consequence for days as my digestive tract recovered.

Now that I'm able to eat real food in small quantities I have caught yet another bug, this one giving me an uncomfortable fever, headache, and weakness. I also have a "glass throat" thing going on, and my nose is running a little bit.

Who am I? Job? Sheesh!

I am hoping this is the last of it, and whatever it is that is the root of all these illnesses resolves itself. It was such a beautiful weekend I couldn't stay indoors, but I was in no shape to do a lot of socializing. We attended a game night BBQ on Friday and a gathering with Ken's friends on Sunday, but that was all I could really take. I was exhausted most of the time and worried that my stomach wouldn't be able to handle the variety offered. I keep forgetting I'm not the norm when it comes to certain foods.

For the next three days I am going to lay low, keep quiet, and hope I can get back to a calm place where I can get some things done here at home. I panic way too easily these days. Quiet and peace are the only way I can prepare myself for the next wave of activity.
fatrockstar: (Default)
I am AGAIN recovering from food poisoning. My last bout of it sent me to the ER in February after eating the cherry that topped off my fancy restaurant hot chocolate. I knew better than to eat it after seeing the girl fish it out of the container with her bare hands, but was stupid. Campylobacter infections are painful, and there is no treatment other than forced rehydration and to let it run its course.

This time around I ate something that produced awful side effects, but luckily no trip to the ER this time. Just like my previous incident, I knew something wasn't quite right about its preparation but ate it anyway. I consider myself fortunate that my body is healthy enough to know when and how to get rid of poison, even if I have to suffer for it to do so.

So now I sit here, not really able to eat much, but feeling a lot better anyway.

It's very quiet here right now. The sun is shining in from the sliding glass door, and a raccoon is watching me from the fence. Grady is avoiding me. I need to clean up around here. It's been too long since I've been strong enough to do that, or since I've had time.

More things go up on Craigslist today. Wish me luck. I have sold only one thing there, ever.
fatrockstar: (singer)
After sleeping for 36 hours, I felt pretty good. Then I went out and made myself feel bad again. I'm taking it easy today in preparation of tonight's show, because all that's left is an annoying cough that some hot liquids will probably take care of. I do feel a lot better than I did day before yesterday. I was so beat up I would stop speaking mid-sentence and just stare into space.

Sadly, Troublefaker Barbie will not be ready by tonight. All the time I had budgeted for her this week was sucked up by this cold. She will be available for raffle at a future show.

may 14 2009 at the Mars Bar

I'm fine. I seem to be addicted to the Tiger Woods red Gatorade.

Oh, and if you're over on Facebook you need to start playing Bejeweled Blitz. With me. Now.

I thought about editing it or putting it behind a cut, but... nah.
fatrockstar: (Default)
I told the Public Health people how much I was getting from unemployment and it was too much to get any kind of reprieve on the cost. I gave what I could, which was about $50, but I still owe about $80. For a visit. There's more to the story here I don't want to go into, but the bottom line is that I have NO disposable income, NO bill-paying income, and all the money I have goes to the mortgage, period, but that doesn't make me eligible for any kind of state help.

With the kind of money I bring in now I should be able to pay full price. This bothers me a lot. If I sell this house I will put myself into about $40k of debt since it's not worth what I owe on the mortgage. Having a car is also a disadvantage -- it's an asset, and I get the feeling I'm expected to to sell it to make ends meet. Sell the house, sell the car, be in debt and homeless, THEN I can get some medical attention. I will wait to panic until I actually talk to the rep for that clinic.

My symptom has lingered for a couple of months. I didn't think about it the first month because I figured it would go away on its own. Now I'm concerned. Sometimes it's there and sometimes it is not, but when it is, it is difficult to ignore. I'm beginning to wonder if it is stress-related and not a symptom of something else at all.

What a pain in the ass all this is. 50 resumes submitted this week so far. Nobody's calling back -- yet.
fatrockstar: (Mrs. Clean)
I felt like I had never left and never really been there before all at once. I also may have pulled a muscle in my shoulder.

I'm off my meds since the bacterial infection laid me out and forced me to limit my intake to 800 calories or less a day. How the hell do anorectics do that? I was foggy and judgment-impaired for a week, AND premenstrual to boot. Needless to say, it hasn't been a good time for me. My food lust is back in force, and in the last couple of days I have found myself unable to avoid eating when I am full or not hungry. I have been able to pace myself so far with the Valentine candy I bought myself. The Girl Scout cookies are another story entirely.

So today is as good a day as any to get started on that one week trial over at Evolution Fitness. I learned a lot about my limitations when it comes to a gym -- location is only part of the equation. I don't like a crowded gym, and I don't like a quiet gym. I've never been in a gym where you can't just go up to the counter and ask them to change the channel on the sound system. I end up tuning it out anyway, and earbuds are uncomfortable. Evolution was empty enough for me to get everything done and had just enough music going on in the background to keep it from being creepy.

I realized that after six months of Winter I can still jog for several minutes without too many problems. The stairmaster is still too much for some reason (I find this irritating, as it was my cardio of choice back in '89-92). A bunch of other things, but for the most part this gym will do fine. The only thing keeping me from jumping into a membership is not knowing where my next job will be. My shoulders and back are swollen from lifting and will be pretty sore in a couple of days. It feels really, really good.

As for the meds, I'll have to return to them soon. I can't do the destructive eating and be sick and cranky all the time. I prefer being able to eat only when I'm hungry and having the freedom to eat with friends without overdoing it. I will talk to my doctor about these tendencies. Maybe there's something more effective I can take or something else to consider when it comes to my appetite.

But yeah... I like the direction this is going. Amanda gave me a 2nd-hand stationary bike to dink around with. I think it needs some WD-40, but it otherwise works great. Grady is not convinced. I really should have done this months ago when it started to get really cold.
fatrockstar: (Barista Barbie)
Thank you everyone for the well-wishes!

There was no clear diagnosis -- it could have easily been the flu or food poisoning. Nurse Mary over at Evergreen said that they'd know more in a few days after all my tests had come back, but they're going to call it gastroenteritis for now. I am not bleeding internally and have no other signs of infection. Sometimes these things just need to work their way out.

I was, however, very dehydrated. They put me on a saline drip and had me rest. Once I had given them every goddamn bodily fluid their lab could test for I was allowed to drink water. For the next week I am restricted to simple carbs, low-or-no fat, and clear fluids. If I go to work tomorrow (and I probably will) I will bring with me saltines and a lot of bullion cubes. Solid food triggers my symptoms. Without it I'm okay, but still need the calories and fluids.

It was pretty lonely in the ER. Being hungry and dehydrated didn't help. I'm glad I brought my lounge pants with me, because the little gown they insist you wear doesn't do much to keep in heat or allow you to be modest. I was there for about three and a half hours. It would have been really nice to have Grady there with me. He would snuggle up with me and make sure I didn't get cold. I Twitter'd to avoid watching television. Nothing good is on during the day anyway.

On the way home I stocked up on Gatorade and other recommended foods. I also bought cookies. I ate three of them and paid for it five minutes later. Might as well get it out of the way now -- the rest of the week will be challenging enough.

Eastside Gym

Sunday, 1 February 2009 23:23
fatrockstar: (Mrs. Clean)
Looks like I may have found a new gym over off of Willows Road. I'm going to head over there on Tuesday to see what they're all about and maybe get a membership. They're not open later than 9pm, so that might get sticky, but I should be okay. I need to get back into a groove of some kind. I'm tired of feeling down all the time, and hate that all winter I've been pretty much doing nothing but counting calories and praying for a healthy weight. I deserve to feel good in my own skin. I deserve to look good in my own skin. If I get back up to 210 I don't know what I'll do with myself.

I hate being heavy. I'm overdue for doing something about it.